Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
