Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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