thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
