Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
