Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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