My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
