You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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