whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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