Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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