I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
