I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
