im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
