Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
