i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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