I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
