i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
