Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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