She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
