Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize