That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
