is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
