get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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