In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
