Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My vagina is officially offended.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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