Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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