this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
