Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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