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he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
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