Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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