I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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