You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
