Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just puked most of my soul out..
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