I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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