I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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