I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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