so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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