Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
false alarm. still invincible.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize