I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
