How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
