pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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