i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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