Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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