and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
