I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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