Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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