my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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