Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize