based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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