Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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