is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
