VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
