so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
