Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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