i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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