i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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