Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
