Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
