Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
