We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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