U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
