Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sarcasm needs its own font
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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