We named our party play list daddy issues
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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