"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
