Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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